Her Clothes or Her Characteristics?

Every day, since the day Mom went to heaven, I have put on her jewelry, her shirts, and her socks. So many of these items have Mom’s name on them. This was the procedure of the nursing home, Mom’s last home on earth. Ann Sachen. My mother.

I proudly wear each item. It was my mothers. With it comes identity. With it comes security. With it come memories. Like the shirt I have on now, is one that she wore a lot. It has a flap that has to be tucked inside the front, and it was always out instead of in. She would say, “this dumb thing” as she tucked it back in.

At Mom’s funeral, the eulogy was shared by us all. We honored Mom with our memories of her. We didn’t share of worldly accomplishments or corporate success. The memories that were shared by so many were of who Mom was, and how Mom lived. The personal characteristics that came up over and over again were generosity, love, faith, kindness, patience, perseverance, gentleness, and on and on the list could go. Mom did not lack in character worthy of honor.

I could get up each day for the rest of my life and physically put on something of Mom’s and though it will have some value to ME, it is not her clothes that create the legacy, it is her character. If I become more patient, then she lives on in me. If I am more generous because she was generous, then she lives on in me. Her legacy will live on if her character lives on in me.

Certain things will forever be an “icon” of sorts that will speak to me of who she was. Like the cross around my neck is hers. It is not real gold, the chain is tarnished, the scrolling rubbed off, but it means something to me. It was worn by a woman who knew what the cross stood for and lived under its power. She wore it because it is a testament to her faith in Christ. I wear it today because it is a testament to my faith. Her legacy lives on. Not in the cross, but in the faith.

Christ lives on in the legacy that is in us as believers. His life is not made visible by our steeples or our pulpits; our bibles or our bumper stickers. If His life is to be made visible at all, it will be made visible in our character; our Christ-likeness.

If you look closely at me you may see some physical resemblance of my Mom. If you know me well you may also see some emotional resemblance, or hear her in my laugh. And though I am grateful for all of these, I don’t want to just “look” like my Mom, or even “act” like my Mom. I don’t want to simply “wear” Mom’s clothing. I want to have her characteristics, live her character, be who she was. Who she was, was a follower of Christ. I will follow her as she followed Christ. Her attributes are worthy of following, because she followed Christ. Christ inside made Mom who she was. Mom’s character, which we praised at her passing, resembled Christ, because Mom didn’t merely put on Christ’s clothes, she was clothed in Christ. We saw it. We spoke about it.

Similarly, I could do what Christ did, and not be a follower of Christ. I can mimic His moves, imitate His voice. I can wear His clothes. But those external things will never create a character worthy of praise. It is only when Christ is inside that our life outside is worthy of praise. Mom would modestly be flattered that I find such value in wearing her clothes, but she would be more proud that because of her I am clothed in Christ.

I love wearing Mom’s clothes, and I will hold her close as I do. In a way, it will always be a part of keeping her alive in my memories, but the clothes will wear out, so I will seek to keep her alive through living a legacy of love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, generosity, grace . . .

Attention all Little Girls - You Go Girl! June 6, 2009

Jack and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage next week. What an amazing journey. Wonderful, adventurous, powerful, and still intriguing. I love him and he loves me. We have grown in our love for each other and have learned a lot about love from each other.

It is amazing when I think that I was a 15 year-old kid who "got in trouble" and married the 17 year old that was responsible for the seed growing inside of me that so drastically changed my life as a sophomore in high school.

I'm 50 now. Not a kid, but the same little girl that I was back then still lives in me. She seems more confident now, more experienced and mature than that other little girl . . . at least on the outside. Inside the same feelings of curiosity, fear, and anxiety lurk. Every little girl, no matter what the age of her body, wants to know that she is loved, she is special, she is valuable, and that she is worth the time, attention, and devotion of those around her.

When I was a little girl, in my little girl body, I wanted to know that I was pretty, that someone saw me, heard me, cared for me, valued me. I went out of my way to look for the approval of all that was ME. I was hungry for affirmation of a value that I wanted desperately to believe was inside. Seeking to find my value in what others thought of me, and using their measuring sticks to somehow determine if I was close or not.

Well, the little girl is still inside and still wonders if I am valuable, but now when I ask that question, I do not ask the world. I ask my Father. My value to Him far outweighs worldly measurements and His answer always makes me smile with a powerful assurance. When I misdirect my value question to the world, the smile and the assurance is woefully absent, or at best fleeting creating a cynicism that is not particularly attractive.

I have learned that my worldly approval rating is incredibly unreliable and vulnerable to my ability to perform well enough. I know now that I cannot perform to everyone's expectations no matter how hard I may want to, whether for my own feelings of self-worth or for the pure and honest love for the people for whom I am trying to perform. Performances are highly over-rated and are subject to the critics of the world who choose to judge you like food or movies. Critics who judge a chef's special recipes or the creative genius displayed on movie screens across the nation, and I rarely agree with them anyway.

Don't ask the world if you are valuable. Don't ask the world to approve of who you are, what you believe, or whether or not you measure up. They are asking the same questions of you, so how could they have the answers! You are both searching for the same thing and it is found in God. Our creator. Our Father. Dad is pleased with all of us, and His answers to our questions of value have nothing to do with performance, and they will always put a smile on your face and an assurance that no critic can take away.

You are loved. You are valuable. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are fabulous. You are special. Your Father placed a value on you that is unmatched by all of the treasure in all of the world, and He made all the treasure of the world! This is something that I almost find impossible to teach - like trying to get others to see the picture in a picture and no matter how much you try to point it out, they just squint and tilt their head in quirky disbelief. It almost feels like they have to dig through the mire for themselves, just like I did, in order to believe me, but what they will find, just like I did, is a value that was there all along. Just under the critic's reviews, measuring sticks, and painful life lessons.

My life story is often the key to hope for those who hear it. I will try again to offer hope by sharing these thoughts and other life principles that all little girls (and their mothers) face, at my You Go Girl Conference on Saturday, June 6, 10am to 3pm. Watch this blog for weekly updates.

The Big Give - March 6-7, 2009

Okay, the conference is a week away and the words are flowing from my mind and spirit onto the keyboard out soon will be out of my mouth and into the hearts (or at least the ears) of women in leadership. Mentoring Women (the women's 12-month mentoring curriculum) will be 10 years old, and Leading Ladies (the women's leadership conference) will be 9 years old! Wow, it is hard to believe that hundreds of women around the world have used Mentoring Women to build and develop the character and leadership of the women in their circle of influence. Pastors' Wives, Ministry Directors, Business Owners, and all women interested in deepening their individual spiritual walk will come together for this event. Only this year, THEY will bring the message along with me. I have written it so that we are all teachers, and we are all students - GIVERS GAIN is the theme and everyone will come to give and through their giving they will gain. I have been pouring over scripture for weeks now, and I am FULL. God has been generous with ideas, thoughts, truths, challenges, application, illustrations, and activities. Here's a clue: The GAIN isn't what comes after the GIVE. The GAIN is IN the GIVE. Wow, there's so much more, but the conference is all next week, so I'll hold on and let it pour out then! Hope you are there. I'd like to learn from you too!

Goodbye Bush and Hello Obama

Goodbye to President George W. and Laura Bush. You have served us faithfully and completely for 8 years. We thank you and we appreciate all that you have meant to us and our country. You have lived a life before us in humility and grace. We have learned much from you. We have benefited from your wisdom and experience. We say goodbye with joy in our hearts for your future and much-deserved rest; a break from the pain of critics, praise of fans, busy schedule, and fishbowl life. Enjoy your ranch and your freedom from carrying the weight of the world. Just as you, Laura, gave Michelle, a gift of an engraved pen and a journal to begin to write her memoirs, you now have a new journey of your own to write about. May God Bless Your Future.

Hello to President Barack and Michelle Obama. We celebrate your victory. We celebrate the making of history, not only for African Americans, but truly for all Americans. This is a great and wonderful step for our country. There is much to celebrate. You are America's choice and you will now serve our country as Commander and Chief. We will pray for you faithfully, as we know that this job is bigger than any president can do alone. All who have gone before you have done their very best to lead our country, most of them trusting God to provide strength, wisdom, and courage to fulfill their role. Your shoulders are strong, but we pray that God will be your strength as you carry the weight of our current difficulties. You are wise, but we will pray for God's perfect wisdom to rule your heart as you make the choices that will affect our lives. You are courageous, but we pray that you will find the courage that is beyond human wisdom and comes from Christ himself. You are our president and we will all do our part as believers to focus our attention on our own responsibility to pray for you, President Obama. May God Bless Your Future and Ours.

Technology Rules My World

I used to feel pretty in control of my world, but now I can honestly say that I am controlled by my world. In order for my world to run successfully I MUST have my computer, my Blackberry, and my internet. I know, I know. I am not suppose to be controlled by these things, but what am I to do? I love the amount of work that can be done using these man-made (demonic) devices. We are driven mad by them and yet we are addicted to them on every level! Even the godliest of us is connected to this "world" by blogs, posts, Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, television, cell phone, and the like. My "world" is being turned upside down right now, because I needed a new computer, and new means things must change, and I do not like change. Change means a learning curve. Change means less productivity. Change means different. Yes, my new computer is suppose to do it all! It has a huge gig, fast processing, dvd/cd burning, webcamming, video gaming (yippee) and all the features that the newest and the best computers have to offer. BUT I just want my new computer to do everything that my old computer did, only fast, better, more efficient, and with all the new features that new computers and programs are suppose to have! BUT that is not happening. It is not a seamless transition where you take one computer in, and bring the new computer home and go back to work! NO. The Vista doesn't speak to the Blackberry so we need to buy something else to get them to communicate. The new operating system won't run my old programs, so I had to buy the new one, but that was the Student version of MS Office (which thank God we didn't open and had to exchange for the Standard version! I have my contacts on the old computer so I can't get to them on my new computer until my Vista decides to speak to my Blackberry, and on and on it goes. We've been on the phone with our cell phone provider, internet provider, Geek Squad, and friends. We have been configuring and reconfiguring, and searching for Login IDs and passwords until I feel like a CIA operative! I am in the wrong field! I need to go back to school and get a degree in technology! Stephanie the Geek! Bill Gates and his crew at MS have those of us stuck in the PC world by the throat! Our world cannot survive without his world, and his world doesn't come cheap. Well, you won't hear or see much of me in the next few days, weeks. . . or God-forbid . . . months, because I will be crying in my tech soup.

Mom - 92 Years of Giving

My son, Chad and I just returned from a visit with my dear mother who is 92 years old. People say, "Don't you mean grandmother?" No, she's my mother. (I think I would know! :) The next comment, is always, "Wow!" She is so much more than a number. The number only represents the years of living, and in my mother's case it represents the years of giving. I learned giving from my mother and I intend to do it for at least 92 years, because I want to be just like her.

92 years of mothering 7 children - all of them a handful! If you know me, you know this is true of me and I'm the youngest so imagine the others! 92 years of caring, loving, and giving to so many - inside and outside of our family. Cooking, cleaning. living, and sharing her life. 92 years of faithful church going, praying, serving, and loving God. 92 years of being the greatest example of the Christ's Fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, meekness, self-control. That is my mother! See, she is more than old. She is an antique - a priceless one to all 7 of us, our kids and our kid's kids and their kids. She isn't only a great-great grandmother, she is a GREAT great-great grandmother. Ask any of her kid's kids or their kids.

I have watched her and dad move from a nice middle-class home to a smaller home to an apartment and into an elderly care apartment where she has lived alone since dad's death in 2001. My trip to Indiana was see her new "home" where she now shares a very small room in a Catholic nursing home. One day her whole existence will be summed up by a paragraph in an obituary column and though I know this is coming, I will never be ready for it.

I hate seeing her there. It was painful. She still has so much to give. She has served for years, and now she MUST be served. She CAN still do most things for herself, and doesn't really understand why she must now be served. They cook her meals when she is a much better cook than they are. They clean around her when she is a much better housekeeper than they are. This is so different for her, but knowing her like we do, we believe that she will find a way to give to those who give to her, because she lives to give.

Mom has "spent" her life giving. In the theme of Givers Gain (the March 2009 leadership conference), she is the greatest earthly example of this important life concept. My mother inspired me yesterday; she inspires me today, and she will forever be my inspiration. Over the years I have written many tributes to her, though the last one will be the most difficult, there will be one constant theme, that of giving. . . 92 years of it and counting.

Leading Ladies Conference Invitation

GIVERS GAIN

Leading Ladies March 6-7 2009!

Great givers of all time have taught us the value of what we truly possess, and that in giving it away, we gain as much as the receiver if not more. Giving something of ourselves does not deplete us, it completes us. Our giving helps others who need what we give, but more importantly our giving helps us to gain more of what is valuable. A value greater than any physical possessions, therefore giving of things is not the most important gift that we can give. Things are valuable in one sense, yet limited based on our financial situation.

The value of which I speak is the value that is found on the inside of each of us which cannot be measured, for it is immeasurable. We have all been given a talent - The Bible is clear on this, so whether you believe it or not is irrelevant – truth is truth.

We all possess certain abilities. We have all obtained valuable life experiences, so the longer we live the more experience we have obtained! The more we use our talents the better our talents become. We all have something to give to our world, and in giving, we gain. Thus, givers gain.

This year's Leading Ladies Convention - our first since my heart problems in 2005 - is all about you and your gifts to the world. VERY IMPORTANT: You are to come with something tangible to give to everyone in attendance. This year's conference, you are the teacher, the conference speaker, and what you bring for all of us will be your “lesson,” so start thinking about it now, and we will let you know the number of those attending. Let your giving be something that represents who you are and what you bring to the world. Come prepared to give. Come prepared to gain.

.